My Table Saw Rocks

Tim Fish Here. If I had a hot tub, I'd be sitting in it right now. I bought a new table saw yesterday for my birthday. It rocks. I cut up a bunch of stuff this evening after work. I have a big pile of sawdust in the backyard. My back hurts, my bones hurt, my legs hurt. Have I told you that the IRS sucks? But the good news is, my table saw rocks.

Birthday cakes and Hate Crimes

Tim Fish Here. I'm arguing with the one I call "Honey" about the size of my birthday cake. She seems to think that it should be half the size of the normal one. On the bright side, if I eat the whole thing, it won't be as bad for me. I'm not sure where I come down on this subject.

I dreamed last night that I was at an indoor arena, and instead of paying to get in, I had to clean up the my section of the place after the event was over. What does that mean? Then I was back in college, in my dorm room waking up to people wandering the halls and rooms because it was 'visitors day'. Of course I was naked and trying to figure out how I could get some clothes on without exposing myself to anyone. What does that mean?

I read in the paper where our Congress (In it's infinite wisdom) has passed another "Hate Crimes" bill. H.R. 1913. This time the same bad idea has been all decked out in the latest "Newspeak". It's now the "Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act". Hmmm. Sounds impressive. Who, after all, is for hate? Or Crime? Surely both need opposing. This bill sounds like a twofer. How can it miss?

I want to go on record here that I LOVE EVERYBODY!! So if I ever commit a crime, you all know it will be out of love, not hate. Well except for people who crack their eggs on the fat end. I HATE THOSE PEOPLE!! Everyone knows that you should crack your egg on the small end. I will never intentionally commit a crime against people who crack their egg correctly. However, If by some chance I offend you and you crack your egg on the fat end, well....I will NOT BE SORRY!! After all, you deserve what you get. Fortunately, there are currently no hate crime laws, protecting the 'Fat Egg End Crackers'. So, I will only be punished slightly, if caught. (Again, Evil Laughter, and rubbing hands together) I wonder if there is a hate crime law protecting overweight elevatormen? Sorry, you skinny elevatormen, you don't deserve protecting as much as I do. (More Laughter)

Well People, I'm going to go see a movie and look at power tools for my birthday. The anniversary of the day I sprung forth and began causing trouble. Woo Hoo. I love you Mom! After all, you did all the hard work.

Old men and Grandkids

Tim Fish Here. I will be 51 years old on Monday. I remember when my dad turned 50 years old. Back then, I thought he was old.... Now, not so old. However, my body is changing. I think that I'm having several heart attacks each day, whenever I bend over, reach for something, kneel down, get up, sit down, stand up, etc... What's up with that?

We get to babysit our grandson, David this weekend, all by ourselves!! Woo Hoo! If you want to see pictures and read a very well written blog about David, go to http://unsinkablekristen.blogspot.com/ (see my blog list) and read Kristen's May 21st post. Kristen is an awesome writer and once she gives birth to her 3rd (count em 3) child, (Allison) I don't know if she'll have time to post much. Anyway, I love to spoil the kids. We sugar them up and send them home. (evil laughter)

I've had a few elevators try to beat the crud out of me this week. So far they've only had limited success. Just when you think that you've fixed everything, something ELSE breaks down. What's up with that? When I was a little boy (8 year old or so) I once told my dad, that when I grew up I would be an elevator man and fix "All the elevators in the world". I have been trying, but I don't think that my superior elevator fixing skills will be able to actually accomplish this goal. Pray for me, or pray that some engineer comes up with an elevator that won't break.

Silent E, and Star Trek

Time Fishe Heree. Ie Hopee youe alle don'te minde mee usinge alle ofe thesee silente E's. Oure granddaughtere startede usinge silente E's ine here writingse soe Ie thoughte I'de trye ite. Ie don'te likee ite muche, ite takese tooe muche thoughte.

I'm going to quit using the silent e's now. Have you seen the Star Trek Movie? Humina, Humina. We saw it this afternoon, with our friends. I must say, it exceeded expectations. I recommend it highly.

Fence is Done

Tim Fish Here. Well friends, I did it. I completed the fence repair. I then mowed and weed ate (eated?) the yard, and then sat and enjoyed the evening. I am rather proud of my fence building skills, and Thankful to the Good Lord for giving me a healthy body to work with. I am available for anyone who might want their fence repaired or built. However, I will do it at my own pace and with plenty of breaks in between the digging and the cementing and the sawing and the hammering and the groaning and the sweating.

We are having some friends from Kansas City come and visit us this weekend. Cynthia and I are looking forward to going to see the new Star Trek movie, and eating. Mmmm.

Dog gone

Tim Fish Here. I've been working on my fence and I must say that although it's more sweating and grunting than I normally like to do, I'm feeling a sense of accomplishment.

I'm also deeply concerned that my beloved has been looking at dogs. I may have to work on my hypnosis.

Fencing

Tim Fish Here. Well, I'm getting too old for this stuff. I began work on the backyard fence repair this evening after work. The past 4 years, has been hard on the ole privacy fence. The posts holding the thing up have rotted out. My neighbor and I thought that the posts were just put in the ground without concrete. WRONG! The guys DID put concrete around the posts, they just didn't FILL the holes. The water under the surface just did what water does to wood. Well, we're going to put new ones in and FILL the holes all the way up. Hmmm.... Anyway, my back hurts and I MAY have had a heart attack. I realized this evening that I will be asking for help when it comes to digging up the sod for our bigger patio. If you see me on your caller I.D. DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!

Wolverine and Dave Ramsey

Tim Fish Here. Well I "Neti Potted" my way to good health. I feel much better after lying in bed for two days groaning and moaning and sniffing and coughing. I want to thank all of the little people who made it possible. I'm still feeling a bit weak, but am able to sit up and take nourishment. Thankfully, my sweet wife makes nourishing meals for me to sit up and take. Mmmmm....

We went to see the new movie, "Wolverine". I hope all of you that went, stayed for the scene AFTER the credits rolled at the end. It looks like this summer is going to a good summer for movies. Our new motto is "Forget Dave Ramsey, We're going to the movies!". WWDD - What Would Dave Do?

Neti Pots?

Tim Fish Here. I don't feel so well. I even stayed home from work and slept all day, in between taking Benedryl, or Nyquil, or CVS Nasal Spray. I didn't get out of bed until 5:30 p.m. when C. came home. She suggested that I look into buying a "Neti Pot". I've never heard of such a thing. Apparently it's good for your sinuses to pour water into your nostril and letting it run out the other one. Who was the first one to think of that? "Hey Tim, not feeling well? Let's pour some water into your nose and see if that helps." Yeah right. I got on line and search it and sure enough, there are lots of you tube videos of people using neti pots. Even one for white trailer park trash people using turkey basters. Hmmm... I was just going to take the cat and shove her tail up one nostril, but this somehow seems like a better idea. cough, cough, sniff, sniff.